Although he lives in the penthouse high above the clown riddled street, it might be tough for President Donald J. Trump to get some much-needed rest inside of his palace in the sky.
Thousands of clowns shouted: “Clowns Hate You!” and “Not This Clown’s President!” in front of the fashionable Trump Tower.
Protesting Clowns essentially closed down an iconic, much-visited neighborhood of midtown Manhattan this weekend. Those who weren’t holding signs shot Silly String toward the glassy black 58-story tower that has become a Romanov-like symbol of the Trump Presidency and his hateful anti-clown movement.
“As long as I am Commander in Chief, I will not allow clowns to infiltrate our borders,” Trump said. “These clowns are molesting our kids, clogging our sewers with clown shit and covering our streets with Silly String. And I want Americans to know that I…Donald J. Trump…am this nation’s biggest and only clown!”
The New York City Clown protest appeared to be the largest of dozens of Clown-led, anti-Trump demonstrations taking place around the globe. The New York crowd was dominated by young clowns, many of whom had just voted in their first presidential election and were aghast at November’s results. Many clowns in make-shift clown cars clogged the streets and yelled their opposition to Trump.
“I hate everything about Donald Trump,” said Pin Wheel Johnson, 29, a professional clown and juggler from Manhattan. “Something has to be fucking done about this Orange Moron parading around like he’s our president.”
Some clowns said they came out spontaneously, hoping to vent their shock and disappointment at Trump by joining the anti-clown movement, but it was a slow build up to this massive turnout.
“I’ve been sad all day…and no one likes a sad clown,” said Pickles, a 22 year old Swedish clown/stripper from Brooklyn. “If I didn’t come out, how would I explain to the next generation of clowns and strippers that I didn’t stand up for clown rights everywhere?”
One sheet-clad Trump supporter carried a sign that read, “White Supremacist: Say No To Clowns!” Another read: “Clowns Suck Dick.” Other times the pro-Trump group broke into chants of: “Clown Lives Don’t Matter.” Tonya Knuckles, a pro-Trump supporter explains. “We ain’t saying that clown’s ain’t got rights…they just ain’t got rights in the United States,” she said. “They need to go back to Iran or Trinidad. Everybody knows them countries harbor clowns and we are just concerned that they will do another 9 11 attack or some shit!”
The tower was closed to sight-seeing tourist and the front of the building was encased in a giant faux circus tent, which had been strategically placed to camouflage the skyscraper from visitors and to fool potential tight- rope walking clowns intent on entering. Otherwise, security appeared relatively relaxed, indicating that most likely nobody from the Trump family, except little Barron Trump, was at home to watch the chaotic atmosphere below.
“Hey, it’s nothing against Little Barron up there,” said Chauncey, a retired clown from Queens. “It ain’t the kid’s fault that his old man is an orange dick! Spray tanning is a form of addiction…the old dude is insane!” he added.
It is an unusual situation to have the President living in the middle of one of the busiest blocks of New York City, and it’s creating security headaches, not to speak of terrible ongoing traffic jams of parades of Clown Cars. The tower has been a magnet for pro-clown protesters for an entire month now.
One of the most famous clowns is Pepper Jack, a gay, nudist clown, who exposed his balloon-shaped penis while standing on a parked garbage truck in the wee hours Wednesday and holding a sign that read: ‘Trump Sucks Clown Cock.’ “I’m too fucking old to be treated like a discarded Charleston Chew,” he said angrily. “Either we get the same rights as others, or we will launch a full-throttle clown attack on our nation’s capital, Mar-a-Lago !”
Small protests were happening elsewhere in New York, including a candlelight clown vigil in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park. A larger demonstration is planned for Saturday night with cotton candy vendors and face painting demonstrations. “We will prevail,” said, Pepper Jack. “We’ll show that son of a bitching clown hater that being a professional clown is no laughing matter! This lunatic is costing us our livelihood…and Pepper Jack needs a new pair of shoes!”
Although Trump is a native New Yorker, he is not very popular in his hometown. In New York City Trump received just 1% of the vote, and much of that was in the mostly suburban borough of Staten Island and likely included his four children and several ex-wives plus employees and former employees under lifetime loyalty agreements.
“We’ll have our day,” said Pepper Jack. “We’ll have our fucking day! Then the world will know that being a clown is no laughing matter.”
Interviews conducted by The Butterfly Report correspondent Jeffie Pop