President Donald Trump is convinced that former President Barack Obama has cast a Voodoo spell on him. Mr. Trump even filed a police report several days ago so that he could have documentation of the curse, just in case it goes to court.
According to the police report, President Trump claims he found a “Wanga Doll” hidden under his bed and believes the former President put there!
“It’s Obama for sure. He’s using Voodoo against me,” Trump said. “He’s black, so you know he practices Voodoo, okay? And now I am paying the price. I’m paying the price because he’s black and it’s not gonna happen, folks…it’s not gonna happen.”
Although President Trump felt the curse had been in place for at least a year, he feels that it is now kicking into high gear.
“It’s getting pretty serious,” Trump said. “At first I thought I was just a little gassy, but now I know it’s a Voodoo curse, for sure. I believe that ugly Wanga Doll is stealing information directly out of my brain and telling it to Obama.”
Police say these types of calls are pretty common from Trump, mostly in the early morning. “He’ll wake up in a pissy mood and then it starts,” said an anonymous D.C. police official. “Sometimes he’ll call us ten or fifteen times in one day just to complain about Obama. It’s kind of sad…I don’t think he really has any real friends in the White House.”
“Let me tell you, folks,” the new President continued. “You think having an IRS audit is bad? Trying being under a voodoo curse! It’s worse, so much worse!”