In news coming out of Washington D.C. this morning, anonymous sources revealed an overnight surveillance operation on Donald Trump in the White House. Secret Intelligence operatives report a wiretapping/brain wave scan was commissioned by a wide-ranging group consisting of registered voters, single mothers in Detroit, coal miners in West Virginia, the impoverished elderly, hungry children, artists, Coast Guard members, State Department employees, several endangered species, scientiTrump head finger cropsts and other concerned parties.

Initial results indicate that President Trump’s thinking appears to be missing specific elements including compassion, honesty, ethics and curiosity, the lack of which became evident after release of his proposed 2018 Budget.

The White House declined to comment on this latest revelation, instead directing reporters to Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney who merely said “I guess this doesn’t sound so good, does it?”