Campbell’s Soup Saved His Life…
Snow Shoe, MI — Rescue crews worked around the clock to successfully save White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer from his cozy cabin hideaway in Snow Shoe, Michigan.
Spicer was reportedly trapped inside the small cabin just south of the Canadian border when White House officials became concerned of his absence.
“It’s not like Sean to miss a press conference,” a White House official said. “He’s usually Johnny-on-the-spot, but then we heard about the blizzard and we became fearful and called Snow Shoe officials.”
Authorities say fire and rescue personnel made several attempts to get to the Spicer Cabin, but were unable to reach him because of freezing sleet and rain.
“It was awful,” said a Michigan rescue official. “That little dude was completely trapped and alone! I was afraid we were going to find a frozen corpse!”
Officials say the crews went back to headquarters to get a special ice-storm helicopter to try to lift him to safety.
“We finally got to him,” the official said. “He was a little shaken up, but he had plenty of Campbell’s Soup stored away and thankfully his soup hoarding paid off!”
“He was grateful for our help,” said another official. “But the little guy had a full tummy. We’re just glad that he had the Campbell’s or Lord knows what would’ve happened.”
“I’m a very lucky guy,” Spicer said. “I’ve got a boss I love, a job I fucking adore and I had plenty of Campbell’s Soup in my pantry…that’s what life’s all about — life, love and Campbell’s!”