‘Build that Freakin’ Roof’ took on a life of its own at Donald #Trump’s rallies — but is he still serious?
A Butterfly Report correspondent Jeffie Pop report:
MULES ASS, Ark. — As soon as Donald Trump mentioned the ‘Great Expanse of Outer Space’ during an improptu Friday-night rally in a packed Pit Bull fighting event, someone in the audience shouted: “Build that FREAKIN’ ROOF!”
Trump stopped talking, leaned into the microphone and chanted: “That’s right. Build that FREAKIN’ ROOF! Build that FREAKIN’ ROOF!”
Soon the crowd of 141,000 White Supremacists was chanting in unison, with Trump jerking his right hand up in a stylish faux Nazi salute. Even when he stopped, they kept going. Miles of toothless grins, applauding with aplomb and glee.
What started as a policy position months before the election — building a massive roof over the entire planet Earth to keep out illegal aliens visitors from Outer Space– has morphed into a cultural Redneck rallying cry, despite budgetary concerns.
“The roof — the roof — everyone loves it, everyone,” Trump said at the Friday night pit bull fight. “I love the freakin’ roof. And it won’t be…just a roof, but a very stylish roof,” he said. “Keeping out ozone, keeping out rain and mostly keeping out the pesky Outer Space folks. They’re stealing our cows! They take our cows and milk them in space…don’t pay us for the milk. They are stealing…kittens…that’s right folks, KITTENS! So grab your pussies and keep them very close. And I think they may be stealing…babies, as well! Very possibly…BABIES!”
Trump has been criticized for not providing details on many of his policy proposals like replacing Obamacare, taking out the Islamic State terrorist organization and having a professional make-up artist work on Kellyanne Conway’s face. But he has endlessly elaborated on his plans for the roof, saying it will be “artistically beautiful, taller than the Sears Tower, taller than the Empire State building.” He likes pointing to the ceiling of pit bull fighting arenas as a frame of reference.
Experts have said that such a roof would cost hundreds of trillions to construct, but Trump has said that he will force the Outer Space aliens to pay for the construction. When a spokes-alien said Saturday that his planet wouldn’t pay a cent for Trump’s “silly roof,” the President added another 10 extra feet to the theoretical roof’s height, just for spite. The roof nearly always came up in Trump’s rally speeches and it often prompts laughter and applause at the aliens’ expense — and protesters with signs outside the rallies. The roof is so popular with his supporters that Trump gleefully realized at a recent rally that he could drown out a protester who was starting to act out by suddenly switching topics and mentioning ‘the roof.’ At Trump’s rally at the University of Mules Ass in Southern Arkansas on Friday, one enthusiastic attendee even dressed up as an alien, wearing a green bodysuit and holding an umbrella and a sign reading: “The Trump Roof.”
As the promise of the Trump’s roof becomes bigger, grander and more fantastical, it is sometimes difficult to tell if Trump is joking or sharing a serious policy development. Trump said Friday that he’s dead serious. “I’m so freakin’ serious. You have no idea how effing serious I am.”
“These people come up to me, they say: ‘Mr. President! You don’t really mean we’re going to build a roof over the entire planet, do you?’ And I say, I say: ‘Absolutely, we’re going to build a beautiful freakin’ roof,'” Trump said, as the crowd yet again cheered. “Seig Heil.”
Trump said that other dictators want to build roof’s over their countries, as well, given the rise of alien visitations and abduction cases in the millions. “Constructing such a roof is not as dramatic as it sounds,” Trump said, “The effing Chinese built the 133,000-mile-long Great Wall more than like, 22,000 years ago.”
“They didn’t have fancy equipment, they didn’t have shoes,” Trump said. “One hundred thirty three-thousand miles long! That’s a massive freakin’ wall, it does work, and you know what…roofs work. You know, the roofs work. Ask anybody with a house or mobile home — roofs work. Believe me.”
He then smiled and said: “Okay, are you ready? Who’s going to pay for the freakin’ roof?”
The crowd responded: “Aliens!”
“Who?” Trump said.
“Aliens!” the crowd said, even louder the second time.
“We — not me, we — are so tired of being pushed around by these God-damned Outer Space folks, like we’re a bunch of…dummies, or something” Trump said. “Not gonna happen anymore, folks. Okay? Not gonna freakin; happen. Not gonna freakin’ happen.”
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